The last week has been one of the most difficult weeks I’ve had in a long time. For five days, I had been having a headache, and every day it got worse. I struggled to keep my eyes open and felt underneath my eyes swelling. Not only that, but I had blurry vision, and my hair started falling out, and I had even more leg weakness than usual. After three days, I worked out that all of this was because of medication. The weird thing was that I have been on this medication for almost a year and a half. I stopped being able to move and was stuck in bed for days, in an insane amount of pain. After two days of trying to get a hold of a doctor, I found out that the formula of the medication had been changed. Afterwards, the doctor took me off of them, allowing my body to revert back to normal.
This chaos reminded and inspired me to explain an almost controversial part of being disabled. Disabilities are in a constant state of flux. They are not written in stone, where everything remains the same. Every day is different and shifting. Now, if you have a disability you are most likely very aware of this. it’s common knowledge and a part of life. However, often abled people aren’t aware of this. When I tell them this, more times than not, I am not believed. Hence why I said it was almost controversial and why this is such an important topic.
What I mean by disabilities fluctuate is not that they can disappear (if it’s permanent). More so that one day I could walk for 100km, and the next I can’t even take three steps. One day, I can walk all around the house, the next I can’t get to the shower. One day, I can focus for hours and do almost a whole week of work and then I can barely write a sentence.
There have been many times that I explain these examples and people get it. But when it is no longer an example but a reality that’s when things change. People get annoyed that I have to take my chair with me to places. They roll their eyes and tut when I say that I can’t get up today. People often have the ability to make me feel guilty and anxious as they accuse me of not wanting to hang out with them.
The truth is, of course, I want to be with people and do fun things, but that doesn’t mean I can! If you have a friend who has a disability, please, I beg of you be patient with them. But more than that, please believe them when they say that they cannot do something. Never accuse us of lying even if you don’t understand. Ultimately, as annoying as it is for you, it is a hundred times more annoying for us. We would love to do everything, but it isn’t that simple for us.
To those who are patient and do believe is, without doubt, all I can say is thank you, you are such a blessing
Before I go, I have gained more support from all of you wonderful people. I just wanted to tell you that I’m really grateful for that, thank you, everybody. You are so kind and generous with your words! I can’t wait to see where this blog takes me and the disabled community.
See you all in a week!